Our world seems very divided and
polarized. Here are some Social Emotional Learning strategies
(offered by Jennifer Miller of confidentparentsconfidentkids.com) for
unlearning our implicit bias:
Conduct a safety self-test to raise self-awareness.
For a week, each time you go to a coffee house, restaurant or
bank, notice how you interact with others. Who do you say hi to? Who do you
feel safe with? What is the color of their skin? Intentionally say “hi” or act
kindly to others who look different from you and check your feelings. Safe,
unsafe? This will raise your awareness that you may have work to do to
address your implicit bias toward others.
Become intentional about changing your thinking habits to
increase self-management.
Now choose the following two weeks (since it takes at least two
weeks to create new thinking habits) to create new ways of thinking when you
are interacting in your community. As you go about your day and encounter
others, intentionally seek out those who felt “unsafe” to you when you
conducted your audit. In the quick moment of interaction, utter in your
mind, “safe,” to begin to turn around your perception. As you walk away, ask
yourself, “what’s their back story?” Imagine the most empathetic,
compassionate back story of pain, struggle, endurance, courage and kindness
as you consider their story. Cultivate a character in your mind who is
endearing and beloved as you watch his life movie.
Seek interaction with other races, cultures, genders, or same
sex partners to cultivate social awareness and create relationships.
Numerous research studies have demonstrated that as individuals
get to know a person who differs from them, their biases are shattered, and
they feel greater compassion for the “other.” Increased interaction helps us
view people as individuals. So on daily errands, become intentional about creating
small talk with those from other races, cultures, or LGBTQ. How can you
generate conversation, get to know something about that individual, and help
shatter your own implicit bias? Consider the multiplying effect of doing
this with your child by your side. Your child will not only experience your
modeling but also, learn with you about another individual in their community
with whom they would not normally interact.
Participate in service as a family to activate
your responsible decision-making skills.
“Everybody can be great because anybody can serve,” is a
favorite quote from Martin Luther King Jr. Each time you sign up to serve your
own or another community, you have a chance to dispel implicit bias. Whether
it’s serving dinner to a homeless population or bringing supplies to shut-in seniors,
you’ll have the opportunity to interact with individuals you may never
encounter in your daily routine while showing care for them. Include your
family and all will have the chance to enact kindness and come away feeling
nourished and cared about from those you’ve served as is always the experience
with genuine service.
May we not become complacent or point the blame at others for
the lack of understanding and acceptance of some humans. As parents, we are
called to address implicit bias as a core responsibility of raising the next
generation. How can we become inspired by the model of Martin Luther King
Jr. to take action in our lives to change the world? How can I make a difference?
*Or take it one step further: Take your child to a rally
or demonstration, or join the work of an organization working on behalf of a social justice issue. Model how you have
decided to actively improve the lives of others with your time and energy. 💗
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