Give your Child the Gift of Global Awareness this Holiday Season

Give the Gift of Global Awareness this Holiday Season

     Because of the numerous holidays celebrated through the fall and winter months, it is an ideal time to discuss how people celebrate around the world – both the uniqueness of traditions and also the many commonalities. As we seek to teach our children to be empathetic, they will be struck by the number of similar themes and symbols apparent in various world holidays. Most notably, the major holidays celebrate light in the darkness, show gratitude for food, family, and life and pause for reflection or prayer. Confidentparentsconfidentkids.org hopes you will take a moment to share these holidays with your family. 

Hanukkah (This year in 2017, celebrated right now between December 13-20. Dates change annually.)
Cultural or Religious Origin: Judaism
Purpose: To celebrate a miracle that one day’s worth of oil lasted for eight days in the temple.
Symbols/Practices: For eight days, Jews light a special candleholder called a menorah.
Traditions: On Hanukkah, many Jews also eat special potato pancakes called latkes, sing songs, and spin a top called a dreidel to win chocolate coins, nuts or raisins. Families also give one gift each of the eight days. Learn more:

http://www.jewfaq.org/holiday7.htm

Christmas
Cultural or Religious Origin: Christianity and Secular
Purpose: To celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, believed by Christians to be the son of God. For the non-religious, the purpose is to give gifts, receive gifts from Santa Claus and celebrate with loved ones.
Symbols/Practices: Santa Claus was originally named after St. Nicolas, a bishop in Turkey, who was a giver of gifts to children. The evergreen tree was originally a German tradition believed to ward off evil spirits. The star is the guiding light that led to the animal manger where the baby was born.
Traditions: Presents are delivered in secret by Santa Claus on Christmas Eve while families are sleeping. Families and friends exchange gifts. Learn more:  http://www.history.com/topics/christmas

Kwanzaa
Cultural or Religious Origin: African-American
Purpose: Started in the United States to celebrate African heritage for seven days based on African harvest festivals and focused on seven African principles including family life and unity. The name means “first fruits” in Swahili.
Symbols/Practices: Participants wear ceremonial clothing and decorate with fruits and vegetables.
Traditions: They light a candleholder called a kinara and exchange gifts. Learn more:

http://www.history.com/topics/holidays/kwanzaa-history

Chinese New Year
Cultural or Religious Origin: China
Purpose: Celebrate the new year.
Symbols/Practices: Silk dragon in a grand parade is a symbol of strength. According to legend, the dragon hibernates most of the year, so people throw firecrackers to keep the dragon awake. Each new year is symbolized by a Zodiacal animal that predicts the characteristics of that year. 2016 is the year of the monkey and 2017 will be the year of the rooster.
Traditions: Many Chinese children dress in new clothes. People carry lanterns and join in a huge parade led by a silk dragon. People take time off of work for seven days and celebrate the feast with family. Learn more:

http://www.history.com/topics/holidays/chinese-new-year

Diwali
Cultural or Religious Origins: Hindu, India
Purpose: The festival of lights honors Lakshmi, India’s goddess of prosperity. It celebrates the inner light that protects all from spiritual darkness.
Symbols/Practices: Millions of lighted clay saucers with oil and a cotton wick are placed near houses and along roads at night.
Traditions: Women float these saucers in the sacred Ganges River, hoping the saucers will reach the other side still lit. Farmers dress up their cows with decorations and treat them with respect. The farmers show their thanks to the cows for helping the farmers earn a living. Learn more: http://kids.nationalgeographic.com/explore/diwali/

La Posada
Cultural or Religious Origins: Mexico and parts of Central America, Christian
Purpose: Reenacts the journey Joseph and Mary took to find shelter to give birth to their son, Jesus. It is a festival of acceptance asking, “Who will receive the child?”
Symbols/Practices: Candles are lit, songs are sung, prayer are offered and, actors dress as Mary and Joseph.
Traditions: People celebrate through song and prayer doing musical re-enactments of the journey. In Mexico and many parts of Central America, people celebrate La Posada in church during the nine days before Christmas. It is a reenactment of the journey Joseph and Mary took to find shelter before the birth of their child, Jesus. Learn more:

http://gomexico.about.com/od/festivalsholidays/a/posadas.htm

Boxing Day
Cultural or Religious Origins: United Kingdom, Australia, Canada, New Zealand, Holland
Purpose: To share gratitude and give to the poor.
Symbols/Practices: Alms boxes are placed in churches to collect donations for the poor.
Traditions: Servants were given the day off as a holiday. Charitable works are performed. And now major sporting events take place. Learn more: http://www.whychristmas.com/customs/boxingday.shtml

Ramadan and Eid al-Fitr
Cultural or Religious Origin: Islam, Muslim
Purpose: An entire month is spent re-focusing on Allah (God) and participating in self-sacrifice to cleanse the spirit.
Symbols/Practices: The crescent moon and a star are shown to indicate a month of crescent moons in the night sky. Participants pray daily in mosques. On Eid al-Fitr, they break the fast by dressing in their finest clothing, decorating homes with lights and decorations and giving treats to kids.
Traditions: Not only do celebrants abstain from food, drink, smoke, sexual activity and immoral behavior during the days of Ramadan, they also work to purify their lives by forgiving others and behaving and thinking in positive, ethical ways. They break their fast each day by eating with family and friends after sunset. Breaking the fast on Eid al-Fitr involves making contributions to the poor and gratefulness. Learn more:  http://www.history.com/topics/holidays/ramadan

Omisoka
Cultural or Religious Origin: Japan
Purpose: This is the Japanese New Year.
Symbols/Practices: Families thoroughly their clean houses to purify it.
Traditions: People remove any clutter and clean their homes to purify them for the new year. They have a giant feast with traditional foods. There’s a national talent competition that families watch until midnight. Bells ring at midnight symbolizing the many forms of human suffering and people go to pray at Shinto shrines. Learn more:

http://www.kidzworld.com/article/26414-omisoka-japanese-new-year

St. Lucia Day
Cultural or Religious Origin: Sweden
Purpose: To honor a third-century saint who was known as a “bearer of light” through dark Swedish winters.
Symbols/Practices: With a wreath of burning candles worn on their heads, girls dress as Lucia brides in long white gowns with red sashes.
Traditions: The Lucia brides wake up their families by singing songs and bringing them coffee and twisted saffron buns called “Lucia cats.” Learn more:  https://sweden.se/culture-traditions/lucia/

Give the Gift of World Culture Exploration  Give the gift of learning more about these beautiful and meaning-filled world holidays with your children and open their eyes to different beliefs and ways of recognizing the season and passages of time. Check out https://confidentparentsconfidentkids.org/kid-resources/global-exploration/ and visit school classrooms around the world, children’s bedrooms in various cultures, and children’s lunches across the globe!

Tips for De-stressing Your December

Tips for De-stressing Your December
Excerpts from Dr. Laura Markham ( ahaparenting.com)

     December doesn't have to be stressful, no matter what holiday you celebrate.  The increasing dark of the Northern hemisphere can be a signal to turn inward to your home and family, to create more warmth, light and peace.  It can be a time for cozy connection and deep joy, whatever your personal beliefs.  The key is deciding what kind of experience you want to create.  Here are some ideas to consider:

1.  Decide what's really important and say NO to everything else.  
Start by sitting quietly for five minutes with your eyes closed, seeing in your mind the scenes you want to create this December.  Then open your eyes and write down your top priorities.  Next, sit down with your partner, if you have one, and your kids, if they're old enough, to share everyone's ideas of what would be a meaningful holiday season.  Get out the family calendar, and think about when these things will get done.  Just say no to holiday events that don't hold meaning for you, including most work events.  If your kids are old enough that they want to spend time with their friends rather than just family, plan now to include their friends in the events where it feels appropriate -- baking pies for the local soup kitchen, or gathering greenery to decorate the house.  Use this festive family meeting to set priorities for the holidays together. 

2.  Prioritize Time for Family Connection.
Your first rule is not to do holiday tasks alone, unless you feel nurtured by them.  Always find a partner for these holiday tasks.  It's a great opportunity for fun with family members, and the kids love the one-on-one time with a parent.  And if you can't recruit anyone, consider that maybe you don't actually need to do more baking or decorating or whatever, if it isn't important to anyone else.  If your kids are too young to help, then it becomes even more important to limit what you do.  What children want this holiday season is connection with their parents and your mood matters more to your kids than anything else.  Make a plan with each family member to do something delicious just with them -- bake cookies together, work out together, walk together through town where you can admire holiday decorations, etc.

3.  Reject Commerialism.
None of the holidays we observe in December are designed to include purchasing things from stores.  Each is an opportunity to celebrate -- the birth of the Savior, the return of the light with Solstice, the Seven Principles of Kwanzaa, and the miracle of faith symbolized by the Hanukkah lights.  De-commercializing the winter holidays can be challenging, but it's certainly possible.  Some families decide to give four presents to their child:  "something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read."  Some families de-commercialize the holidays by making presents.  If your whole family is making presents, try scheduling some weekend afternoons when everyone is working on their creations. 

4.  Create Traditions that make Meaning and bring your Family Closer. 

Children love tradition and ritual.  Repetition, the comfort of belonging, the sense of wonder, magic and celebration -- traditions nurture kids and parents alike, and create a sense of shared meaning.  They connect families.  Kids need the security of repeated traditions, and they'll want you to repeat this year anything you've "always done" in the past.  Honor those requests and savor those moments.  (A family trip to gather greenery?  A scavenger hunt to find a hidden present?  Caroling in your neighborhood?  A religious service?  A candlelit meal with favorite family recipes?  Volunteering for Meals on Wheels?)

5.  Giving to Others.

What we really want for our kids is to find their own holiday spirit and discover the joy of giving to others.  Did you know that the experience of giving actually activates an area of the brain that gives us physical pleasure?  But generosity doesn't come from guilt.  Children begin to feel generous from the feeling of having plenty -- emotionally, even more than materially-- and it develops as they have the experiences of making others happy by giving to them.  Our job as parents is to help our kids to have those experiences. 

6.  Take Time as a Family to Reflect.
The holidays are a great time for families to reflect, examine, and appreciate their lives together.  Start with discussions at dinner about what you love about your family, your lives, and yourselves, and one thing you would change if you could.  (Read together:  The Table Where Rich People Sit by Byrd Baylor to focus on the simple blessings of life.  Kristin Race, from Mindful Life, suggests utilizing a simple gratitude jar to capture the big and small things we are grateful for on a regular basis.  Each day, each family member writes down one thing, big or small, that they are grateful for and drops it in the jar.  Over time, this simple practice rewires our brains for happiness.  When times get tough, sit down with your family, pull out a handful or two, and read them off to each other.  It will help you reconnect to what's really important.)

Wishing you and yours a merry and meaningful winter break!  

How were you kind today?

The One Question I Always Ask My Kids After School: 

‘How Were You Kind Today?’ 

Condensed from Courtney Byrne at www.scarymommy.com 

Last school year, I asked the same question each day on the drive home from school: What did you do today that was kind? It started for a few different reasons, but caught on and turned into more of an important conversation-starter than I expected. If there’s one thing all of our schools could use (and really, the world in general), it’s more kindness, so I decided to share this daily ritual we have and why I hope to continue it for years to come.

Before I lose you, I want to be paint a clear picture of the scene in our car every day when we talked about kindness. I am not a calm mother who never yells. My kids are not calm children either and exhibit their fair share of naughty behavior. When the girls would hop into it after school, they’d start tossing everything from school papers to lunch box leftovers. They’d usually start fighting over something and usually one or both of their little brothers would be screaming/crying because I woke them from a nap to pick their sisters up from school. I am trying to paint a picture of our car — and my mental state at school pickup — and I’m hoping that’s coming together for you. I’d ask the girls how their day was, usually in a not-so-friendly kind of annoyed tone. I’d get a “good” and nothing else.

One day, on a whim, I said, “Tell me something kind you did today.” It changed the tone in the car almost immediately. I asked again the next day, and then it stuck. I didn’t remember to ask every day. Sometimes we skipped it. Sometimes the girls came into the car beaming with excitement because they had something “kind” to share before I even asked. Those were the days I was really proud. I’ve realized something during the first few years of my kids’ education: Not all kids are going to get a perfect report card and not all kids are going to excel in sports, music, etc. Often the picture we want to paint for our kids’ future isn’t necessarily the path they are going to choose. So really, why not spend more time focusing on raising good people?

How did this daily question change our conversations?

1. It made for a positive way to discuss the day.
Like I mentioned, we were kind of in an after-school rut. It felt like a car of grumpy babies, toddlers, kids, and mom. This helped us feel a lot more happy and positive in the car. For me, as tired as I was, hearing my girls cheerfully tell me simple things like, “I gave Sarah my glue stick when I saw hers ran out” made me feel more cheerful too.

 2. It helped them comfortably bring up times when people were unkind.
The first time I heard “Well, let me tell you about who wasn’t kind today, Mom,” I replied with a “This is about good things. Tell me good things that happened first.” Then I thought about it: If the question about kindness helps them identify times when people are unkind and helps them talk to me about it, that’s actually a good thing. It’s not easy to share when people are being unkind to you. It can feel embarrassing. It’s not something you feel proud of. I think kids “tattle” more when they are little but start to keep these feelings inside as they grow. So if our daily kindness chat is a place they are comfortable telling me when they felt sad at school, we’ll go with that too.

3. It helped me explain how sometimes what we think is the right thing can actually be the wrong thing.
This was something I never thought would come from our kindness chats, but it sure made things more interesting. For example: “Mom, I did something really kind today. I told Sarah that if she would just start believing in Jesus, then Santa would come to her house. Isn’t that great?!” While her intentions were good, that’s obviously not okay. It gave me a reason to explain (with a real life example) different religions and how people having different beliefs is a wonderful thing, and not something we should try to change.

Another example: “I was kind today when I screamed at Sarah for being mean to Jane and told her no one is ever going to play with her again because she’s mean.” Again, while sticking up for people is kind, there’s a right and wrong way to do it. This is a great time to explain the difference. It’s brought about many life lessons in an organic way, and that’s been helpful for all of us.

 4. Raising Kind People. 
Knowing your kids’ grades and how they are doing academically is important, but I don’t think it needs to be the first thing you ask after school. While it’s tempting to ask “How much homework do you have?” or “What did you get on the spelling test,” focusing on kindness instead really made a positive difference for us. I want my kids to think that being a good person is going to make them more successful than anything else. By asking them how they were kind before inquiring about their academic performance, I hope they will begin to understand the importance of being a nice person.

 I will ask them this question again this year and each school year after. I see harder conversations stemming from the question as they get older, but my hope as a parent is that it helps them want to continue to be kind and share their feelings with me.