We don't yet know how bad the Corona Virus outbreak will be in the United States and across the world, writes Dr. Laura Markham (ahaparenting.com). But we do know that people with youthful immune systems can handle the virus and recover quickly. However, our children are not immune to the fear that is swirling around them about this pandemic. It's our responsibility to both inform and reassure them. Here's your game plan for talking with kids about the corona virus:
1. When you talk with kids about a subject that is in the news, always begin by asking them what they've already heard.
This allows you to respond reassuringly to any fears your child is worrying about and correct rumors that aren't true ("No, it's not true that everyone who gets the virus dies; in fact most people get a mild flu and recover quickly.") Ask your child what they've heard about the virus. Always start by listening, and acknowledging your child's worries.
2. Focus on the helpers.
"Mr." Fred Rogers always helped children deal with worrisome events by talking about all the folks trained to assist us through tough situations. Yes, there are some scary things in our world AND there will always be folks who help put things back together, i.e. firefighters, healthcare workers, rescue personnel, etc. In this case, smart & capable scientists and health workers are working to keep the virus contained. We are lucky in this country to have so many helpful people tackling this problem. If your child has questions you cannot answer, turn to reliable sources like the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention who have a measured, non-alarmist approach to the current situation.
Every time children hear that there was a death from the virus -- even if this is the same death they heard about yesterday -- it magnifies their fears. According to Dr. Markham, "children under the age of ten should never watch TV news, which is purposely designed to keep us engaged by scaring us. The best way to help children work through fear of any kind is play and laughter. So if your child is acting out more or seems stressed, initiate some roughhousing to get everyone laughing. Laughter changes the body chemistry~ reducing stress hormones."
Teach kids that this virus spreads when someone who is sick coughs or sneezes. Their germs can only infect us if they get in our eyes, nose or mouths. Unfortunately, we humans touch our faces about two dozen times an hour. This is a great opportunity to discuss and practice "impulse control" with children. Commiserate about how hard it is to keep your hands off your face. have children notice how many times they have the impulse to touch their face and how many of those times they are able to notice and stop themselves. Teach children to compensate by grabbing a tissue to scratch their face. With light-heartedness and humor, emphasize these healthy habits with your children:
* Washing hands in hot soapy water for the length of the Alphabet Song to kills germs.
* Not touching our faces.
* Sneezing/coughing into our elbows.
* Using wipes to disinfect surfaces.
* Not sharing glasses and eating utensils.
* Staying home when we don't feel well.
* Getting enough sleep. (Anyone who has to be awakened in the morning, whether by
a parent or an alarm, is not going to bed early enough.)
5. Empower kids.
Research shows that when we feel frightened or sad in response to news, it's helpful to take some kind of positive action to make things better. That makes us feel more powerful and less fearful, says Markham. So talk as a family about how you can make a contribution to keeping everyone healthy by staying healthy yourselves and ...
* Giving money to a Corona Virus Relief fund to help fight the virus in countries with less developed health care systems.
* Supporting your local hospital, for instance, by dropping off new stuffed animals to be delivered to the pediatric ward. They may not have any patients with the corona virus, but they are on the front lines of helping people who are ill every day.
* Sending cards and well wishes to more vulnerable populations in nursing homes.
Because of mirror neurons in our brains, your own attitude will always communicate itself to your child. Children take their cues from us. So don't let your children overhear you venting your own fears to other people. Before you talk with your child about the virus, reassure yourself. Your child is no less safe than he or she was last week. The chances of your family getting anything worse than the flu, even if this is an epidemic, are much less than the chances of a car accident, and you get into a car every day, says Markham. If you have a hard time believing this, it's a red flag that you've exposed yourself too intimately to the news. Every time you see more news about this issue, you're sending yourself back into fight or flight mode. You're choosy about who you spend time with. Be choosy about who you let influence your mindset. It's our job as parents to manage our own emotions so they don't adversely affect our children.
It's possible that school will be cancelled or quarantines imposed. Even if that doesn't happen, health officials say that it's prudent to stay home as much as you can. Many parents react to this with panic. The idea of being cooped up endlessly with our children is daunting. Set up some routines and structures that will help everyone. Then brainstorm to create a list of enjoyable things to do when you're housebound, some individually and some as a family. Check out this list of Staycation activities to address boredom during an extended stay at home: Boredom Busting Activities for Kids. If you are stocking up on basic food items, also remember to grab some cardboard boxes and craft supplies to allow for creativity and inventions galore! And playing in nature helps heal us all.
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