Why is unstructured time so important for your child's healthy development?
One of our biggest challenges as adults, and even as teenagers, is learning to manage our time well. So it's essential for children to have the experience of deciding for themselves how to use periods of unstructured time, or they'll never learn to manage it. Maybe even more important, unstructured time gives children the opportunity to explore their inner and outer worlds, which is the beginning of creativity. This is how they learn to engage with themselves and the world, to imagine and invent and create.
Most kids given unstructured time rise to the occasion (after some minor complaining) and find something interesting to do with it. Kids are always happiest in self-directed play. That's because play is children' work. It's how they work out emotions and experiences they've had. Watch any group of children playing outside and they will organize themselves into an activity of some sort, whether that's making a dam at the creek, playing "pretend" or seeing who can jump farthest.
Why does "I'm bored" become a constant refrain for so many kids?
When kids simply can't find something to do, it's usually because:
⧪ They're so used to screen entertainment that they aren't practiced at looking inside themselves for direction.
⧪ Their time is always so structured that they aren't used to finding fun things to do with their "free time."
⧪ They have no one to play with, and haven't yet discovered things they like to do by themselves.
⧪ They need some parental connection. All kids need to check in with their parents for refueling during the course of the day.
When children say they're bored, how can parents respond?
First, stop what you're doing and really focus on your child for five minutes. If you use this time to connect, just chat and snuggle, your child will probably get the refueling he needs and be on his way fairly quickly. If he doesn't pull away from you, and you need to get back to work after a few minutes of fully connecting, consider that maybe he needs a little more time with you. Most of the time when children are whiny and unable to focus, it's because they need more deep connection time with us. Offer to involve him in what you're doing, or take a break from your work and do something together. Once you're confident that your child has a full "love tank,' you can revisit the "what to do" question. By now, he probably has some ideas for something he'd like to go do. If not, tell him that figuring out how to enjoy this own time is his job, but you'd be happy to help him BRAINSTORM about possible activities.
What about when kids really do need help coming up with a boredom-busting activity? How can we help--- while still being clear that entertaining themselves is their responsibility?
Even if you need to help your child come up with ideas for "what to do," shift the responsibility to her by creating a BOREDOM JAR stuffed with ideas written on pieces of paper. Whenever a child says she's bored, she picks three pieces of paper from the jar and chooses one of the activities. Here are 100 examples of screen-free ideas that children can do themselves, that your child might want to include in her BOREDOM BUSTER JAR:
Make a book of jokes
Make a laser obstacle course in your hall with yarn or tape
Build a fort with blankets and pillows
Write your Grandma a letter
Cut out paper dolls and costumes for them
Get a magnet and make a list of everything in your house that is magnetized
Get a ruler and measure things in your house, recording their length
Put on some music and dance
Wash the mirror with a sponge
Write down 10 things you love about each person in your family to surprise them
Brush the dog
Draw a tree
Make a dollhouse out of cardboard
Learn a tongue twister
Make homemade ice cream in a baggie
Dig a hole in the backyard
Give the dog a bath
Find shapes in the clouds
Make paper airplanes and fly them
See how many times you can dribble the basketball
Cut a guitar out of cardboard and add rubber band strings
Paint a picture
Play capture the flag
Wash the car
Make a birthday card for the next person you know who is having a birthday
Plan a treasure hunt, with clues
Ride your bike
Make a scene in a cardboard box
Use boxes to build a castle
Use an eye dropper to drop vinegar tinted with food coloring onto a pie pan filled with
baking soda
Start a journal
Make homemade wrapping paper
Mix ivory soap, kleenex and water to make clean clouds on a cookie sheet
Organize your room
Write a story
Create a play with costumes
Make paper bag puppets or sock puppets
Cut out pictures from magazines and make a collage
Use plain white paper to decorate your own personalized stationary
Cut up old holiday cards and make holiday stickers for next year by coating with
gelatin glue, let dry (dissolve 2 tsp gelatin in 5 tsp boiling water)
Surprise your mom by making lunch
Make a zoo for your stuffed animals
Have a lemonade sale
Make and decorate a calendar of the summer, with important dates marked
Put juice and cut-up fruit into ice cube trays to make ice cubes
Create a family newsletter
Make dessert
Use masking tape to make a race track for your cars all over the living room
Play tag or freeze tag
Start a collection (leaves, rocks, buttons) and make a museum display
Hang a clothesline in your room and clip photos to it to make an art display
Create a circus performance
Learn a new card game
Make a potion lab or pouring station outside with food coloring and containers
Set up a shop and be the shopkeeper
Make your room into a rainforest
Make a sculpture from pretzels and peanut butter
Write the story of your life
Do something kind for someone, in secret
Make an obstacle course
Bowl in your hallway with soda bottles or toilet paper tubes
Make a placemat (laminate it at the local copy shop)
Write some limericks or haiku
Decorate an old t-shirt with cool buttons and fabric pens
Decorate a rock and make a house to keep it as a pet
Use old cardboard tubes and boxes to build a marble maze
Make "funky junk" art out of old jewelry
Listen to an audio book
Make snow globes or calming jars with glycerin and glitter
Memorize a poem and recite it for your parents
Make a boat using a plastic soda bottle base, popsicle sticks/duct tape- see if it floats
Draw a picture of a desert island with all the things you would want on it
Blindfold your sibling and take them on a tour of your house/yard- then trade places
Make a fairy house for your garden
Cut out a crown, tape into a circle to fit your head and decorate
Create your own board game
See if you can draw a picture with your foot
Draw on the sidewalk with chalk
Set up a restaurant and serve pretend meals
Play jump rope
Play with bubbles in the sink
Plant some seeds
Use the hose and a tarp to make a slip and slide on your lawn
Paint your toenails
Make a curving line of dominoes and knock the first one so they fall down in a row
Make a list of fun things you can do without a grownup
Mix liquid hand soap, cornstarch and food coloring into paint and paint the bathtub
String beads to make a friendship bracelet
Use the hose, PVC pipe and soda bottles to construct waterways in your yard
Use pipe cleaners to make animals
Use a basket and string to rig an elevator to hoist stuffed animals up your stairwell
String a necklace out of pasta
Practice kicking a soccer ball
On a hot day, give kids sponges & bucket of water & let them toss them to each other
Make and fill a bird feeder
Make homemade playdough
Paint sea shells or rocks
Make bean bags
Blow bubbles!
I hope these ideas stimulated your imaginative Wizard Brain to think of ways to BRAINSTORM Boredom Busters with your child. Practicing BRAINSTORMING when we feel playful will help children learn this important social skill when they need to use this same strategy to resolve conflicts.
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