It may seem hard to find simple ways to deepen your
connection with your children, given how busy everyone is. But Valentine’s Day reminds us to tell all
our loved ones how glad we are that they are in our lives. Here are some simple ideas for celebrating
that love (excerpts
from Ahaparenting.com) when you’re too busy, too broke, and maybe
too harried to remember that you really adore these people you live with….
1.
Rethink Gifts.
Make
this day about the heart to heart expressions that build intimacy and
connection. That means handmade cards,
extra loving time together, massages, not purchased gifts. If you must buy a gift, choose it using the
GIFT test: does it create more Gratitude, Intimacy, Fondness and Trust between
you, or does it just impress? Here are
some alternative gift suggestions for your children:
~A Letter of Appreciation.
The best gift
of all is always a simple letter to your loved ones detailing how grateful you
are to have them in your life. Be as specific as possible; this is more
satisfying than saying “You’re lovable,” because the recipient feels seen and
appreciated. Kids feel loved when we notice who they are and what they contribute to
us, our family, and the world. Your
kids will reread your letters during tough times. They’ll save them for the rest of their
lives.
~A Gift Certificate for a back rub or
foot massage every night for a month.
Kids feel loved when we listen to them
and give them an opportunity to talk through their daily challenges. Every
single day, spend 15 minutes snuggling with each child before bed. Not reading, that’s separate. Snuggle time is just chatting and being
together. Gift certificates for nightly
back rubs or massages bring delight.
~Let children cash in special “Us Time”
cards available from loveplantgrow.com to print at http://www.plantlovegrow.com/uploads/3/4/5/0/34500811/us_time.pdf
2.
Let
your kids know your love is with them all day
…by tucking little construction
paper hearts with love notes into their backpack, lunch, jacket pocket for them
to find throughout the day.
3.
At
dinner, go around the table and give each person a chance to give an
appreciation …to every other family member. They don’t have to be earth-shaking to
strengthen relationships.
4.
Find
five minutes to spend by yourself giving thanks for those you love.
One
at a time, visualize yourself hugging them, and them beaming back at you. Let the infinite tenderness of your love for
them wash over you. Ask for help to let
go of anything that gets in the way of being close to this person, who is so
precious to you.
5.
Make some extra valentines
…to pass out as you go through
your day. You’ll be amazed whose day
you’ll be moved to brighten; the subway token clerk, the grocer, coworkers,
neighbors, a homeless person you pass on the street. You and your kids might even want to leave
anonymous valentines at each neighbor’s door.
6.
How
about a telephone Valentine chain?
Call
someone dear to your family and pass the phone around to take turns telling
this person you love them. Then ask that
person to “Pass it forward” by calling someone they love, asking that person to
call another, etc.
7. Love in Practice.
If
you’d like your kids to take pride in making the world a better place,
Valentine’s Day is a great opportunity to make love visible in the world by
taking valentines goodies or homemade valentines to a nursing home, hospital,
or soup kitchen. As four wise teachers
once said, “In the end, the love you take
is equal to the love you make.”
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