Students at NES are learning to distinguish between their NEEDS and their WANTS. “Wants” are specific requests for something we think will address one of our unmet needs. But the reason we ask for specific things is because of our “why?” All humans are trying to meet an assortment of basic human needs. When we don’t get them met, we have strong emotions. It is helpful to look at the five categories of human need identified by Abraham Maslow since they influence our behavior and emotions every day:
Physical Needs-- food, water, warmth, shelter, rest, sleep, exercise, touch
Need for Safety-- predictability, order, security, reassurance, trust, loyalty, harmony, peace
Social Needs-- acceptance, affirmation, cooperation, nurturance, belonging, connection, inclusion, communication, community
Need for Power and Mastery-- achievement, competence, acknowledgement, participation, empowerment, equality, fairness
Self-Actualization Needs-- celebration, self-expression, creativity, meaning, purpose, inspiration
Think about how your daily existence and mood are affected when any of these needs are unmet. One local counselor suggests that parents utilize the acronym H.A.L.T. when trying to understand what is going on with your child. Ask yourself: “Are they
Hungry/hangry? Anxious? Lonely? or Tired?” when they exhibit big emotions or make behavioral choices that upset you.
When any basic human need is unmet, it creates uncomfortable feelings in us. If any of your child’s behavior is baffling or difficult to address, ask yourself if any of the following factors may be contributing to it, says Nicole Schwartz from
imperfectfamilies.com. Here is her list to get you thinking:
1. Sleep
2. Hunger
3. Thirst
4. Overstimulation
5. Understimulation
6. Big life changes (moving, starting a new school, death of a loved one, separation or divorce)
7. Diet
8. Allergies and food intolerances
9. Learning challenges
10. Processing speed
11. Learning style
12. Friendships
13. Feeling unsafe
14. Vision and hearing problems
15. Medical conditions
16. Mental health diagnoses
17. Activity level
18. Screen time
19. Fears and worries
20. Lack of routine, structure, or clear understanding of what comes next
21. Difficulty reading social cues
22. Insecurities and shame
23. Difficulty expressing thoughts and feelings
24. Temperament and personality type
25. Developmental stage
It is clear from this list that our physical needs, the need for stability and security, the need to belong and be accepted for who we are, the need to demonstrate competence, and other basic human needs identified by Maslow, can be causing big emotions and challenging behavior in our children. When we focus on meeting their needs & empathizing with a child’s feelings, we begin to address the root causes of the behavior and realize effective solutions to the challenges of the day.
No comments:
Post a Comment