At NES, children are learning to handle their conflicts by using a tool known as THE PEACE ROCK or a TALKING PIECE. Any child is welcome to use the Peace Rock or Talking Stick when they have a problem to resolve with another person. When approached with the peace rock or talking stick, the other child (or adult) is asked to stop what they were doing and listen. When the first child has said what they needed to say, they give the rock or talking stick to the other person, signaling their chance to respond. The talking piece is passed back and forth until the issue is resolved, at which time both children hold it together and say, "We made peace." Montessori schools use a similar practice, as illustrated in THE PEACE ROSE by author Alicia Jewel, to help children use mindful speaking and mindful listening to work through a conflict. Peace is not seen as an end state; peace is a process. See this process in action--
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgXU0lAAeck
It takes some adult help as the children learn this process, and adults will need to step in and help with particularly sticky situations, but the vast majority of conflicts can be handled with little to no adult intervention if the children have learned to use the helpful prompts below.
Each day, classes at Nederland Elementary School sit in a Connection Circle and pass around a talking piece to indicate which person gets to share while the others listen mindfully to what they have to say. Practicing these roles when there isn't any conflict helps create the routine of responding in this manner when issues arise. Students will be bringing home a talking piece they made this week that parents may want to use when siblings have conflicts, or for family meetings when the family tries to solve an issue together.
Here are prompts to help children talk with one another:
1. Say what emotion you are experiencing. "I feel...."
2. State the problem without blaming. "When...."
3. Say what you would like (or need). "I would like..... because I need...."
4. Listen for what the other person is feeling and needing. Repeat what you heard
them say before sharing your side of the situation. "You are feeling... and would
like...."
5. Brainstorm how to fix the issue and get agreement from each other on which idea
to try.
Each day, classes at Nederland Elementary School sit in a Connection Circle and pass around a talking piece to indicate which person gets to share while the others listen mindfully to what they have to say. Practicing these roles when there isn't any conflict helps create the routine of responding in this manner when issues arise. Students will be bringing home a talking piece they made this week that parents may want to use when siblings have conflicts, or for family meetings when the family tries to solve an issue together.
Here are prompts to help children talk with one another:
1. Say what emotion you are experiencing. "I feel...."
2. State the problem without blaming. "When...."
3. Say what you would like (or need). "I would like..... because I need...."
4. Listen for what the other person is feeling and needing. Repeat what you heard
them say before sharing your side of the situation. "You are feeling... and would
like...."
5. Brainstorm how to fix the issue and get agreement from each other on which idea
to try.
Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me....
Pinwheels for Peace at Nederland Elementary School
celebrating the International Day of Peace.
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