Slow Yourself Down and Utilize a Healthy Coping Strategy when you are overwhelmed, upset, or unable to focus. This is the message your children are learning at school. Pausing and doing self care gives our brain time to relax and reflect; time to think about how to solve the challenges in our lives. It moves us from a purely reactive, emotional state into a responsive, problem-solving state of mind. It allows our nervous system to become more balanced and the emotional and rational parts of our brain to become integrated.
Every classroom at Nederland Elementary (and also most classrooms at Nederland Middle School) have a REFOCUS CENTER in them. This is a place where kids can ask to go for a few minutes when they are worked up, when they've had a disagreement with someone, or when they can't focus on their school work. There is a quiet place with a soft floor pillow, a reflection manual, and some tools and suggested strategies to select from. Watch this 2 min video to see how one school has utilized this idea -- Calming Corners in every Classroom
Children may appreciate having a similar sort of calming space in your home. This provides an opportunity for you to introduce healthy calming strategies to your child; to help them soothe and regulate their big emotions instead of being punished for having them. It is a place to express and experience their feelings through writing, artwork, reading, sensory tools, deep breathing or meditating.
Create a calming corner with your child. Think about where a cozy spot in your house might be. Think about what calming tools and strategies you might keep in it. By teaching children that there are healthy options for de-stressing, for feeling their sadness or for working through their frustration, they learn that they can help themselves de-escalate strong emotions. They have some control when they begin to feel uncomfortable and out of control.
Collect some of the following items and help children practice using these strategies to see which ones work best for them in different situations. Remind children these strategies are "in their toolbox" when they need them. Talk openly about your favorite healthy strategies for taking care of yourself after a difficult day. When children notice how we care for ourselves, they can more easily develop self-care practices themselves.
Possible Calming Strategies to Try with your Children:
Deep breathing using a pinwheel or bubbles
Deep breathing with a stuffed animal on your belly
Deep breathing while tracing up and down your fingers
Finger breathing (as if you had a Hoberman's Sphere)
Taking a mindful walk outside
Yoga balancing poses
Imagining your favorite place
Picturing the people you care about
Coloring mandalas
Drawing or using watercolors to show how you feel
Saying the alphabet slowly
Remembering the words to a song you love
Running water over your hands
Getting a cool drink of water
Enjoying a hot cup of tea
Rubbing a worry stone or holding a favorite object
Noticing something with all five of your senses
Exercising or doing push ups
Making a fist and then releasing it; massaging the palms of your hands
Talking to yourself in a positive way
Taking a shower or a warm bath
Counting to 100 (backwards)
Listening to music
Tightening, then relaxing muscles from head to toe
Rocking and giving yourself a hug
Watching a glitter jar or liquid timer
Reading about feelings
Playing with your pet or a stuffed animal
Doing a random act of kindness
Listing all the things you are grateful for
Dancing and giggling
Creating with play dough, clay or theraputty
There are six different approaches to lowering your intense emotions. See if you can include tools from each of these categories into your child's Cozy Corner:
1. Soothing your amygdala by using your sense of smell, sight, hearing and touch. Weighted pillows, aromatherapy, liquid timers, soothing music, and sensory toys all fit into this category.
2. Moving the emotional energy out of your body. Exercise, whole body muscle relaxation exercise, a warm bath, tai chi or yoga poses all help release the emotional tension in your body.
3. Doing an action to create the opposite emotion within yourself. Listing things you are grateful for, playing with a pet, dancing and reading jokes, singing your favorite song, imagining your happy place and people who love you are all ways to increase your happiness and decrease uncomfortable feelings.
4. Deep breathing is the #1 best way to lower BIG emotions and get you out of the fight or flight mode. Find fun ways to practice slowing down your breath -- elephant breathing, bumble bee breathing, breathing boards to trace, blowing bubbles, etc.
5. Expressing and processing your emotions. Writing or drawing how you feel, talking to a supportive person, and noticing where in your body you are feeling uncomfortable can help you experience the emotion and let it pass through your body.
6. Temporarily distracting yourself. Doing a puzzle or Rubix cube, sudoku, coloring, cleaning your room, or watching a short video can help you pause and give your Wizard Brain time to catch up with your emotional reaction.
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