Now that schools have sent home online learning assignments, you probably realize that meaningful learning requires much more than sitting a child in front of a screen. You didn't sign up for this new role. And you are noticing how your child's brain (and behavior) is reacting to transitioning from at-school lessons to distance learning (oh my!).
The brain thrives on predictable patterns. When those predictable patterns are missing, our brain causes us to experience uncomfortable emotions. If your daily routine is unpredictable, your child's brain will spend its energy scanning the environment looking for patterns (safety) rather than devoting that energy to problem solving, creativity or learning. It is helpful for children to know that life is going to be different for awhile AND that you will find a new normal together, says Julie Ruffo from Confident Discipline. A predictable daily routine helps to do just that.
Some families will find a timed schedule too constricting and will fare better with a simple order of events each day (first, next, then...). The idea is to give your child a predictable rhythm, not stress yourself further by imposing inflexible measures. Choose what works best for YOUR family.
Families with older children can work together to co-create a new daily schedule (this helps give children a way to exert some control over their situation), while parents of younger children will create the schedule (but allow for some choices within each category). Plan it, draw it, label it, POST it somewhere obvious and refer to this schedule often so children know what to expect.
Remember to schedule breaks for yourself as well as time to enjoy with your child walking around the block, reading together, and sharing snacks and meals. A successful daily schedule for school-age children might be: Wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast, outside time, learning time, lunch and clean up time, free play, quiet time, help prepare dinner, family time, bedtime routine, read, bed (NOTE: children need a minimum of 9 -11 hours of sleep to be able to focus and regulate their emotions). It will take a few days to get into the groove, but a consistent pattern will help free children's brains up to learn more effectively and not explode in big emotions as much.
For many, these next few weeks are just a time to get through. But they can also be a time to teach our children about developing a Balanced Life. Will their lives focus only on being productive, or self care, or will there be encouragement to show compassion for others? Consider what main values you want your children to honor. How can those basic morals be woven into their daily schedule? Here are five values that one family used to develop their new Daily Routine:
Routines that embed meaningful rituals (i.e. Moment to Pause, snuggle time, emotion check-ins, movement breaks) will increase connection between family members and reduce the brain drag that occurs from staring endlessly at screens. Including a Brain Smart Start and Brain Breaks in your routine will help children maintain their focus and increase their attention span. A Brain Break Smart Start has four research-backed components that turn off the stress response we are all feeling, creates a favorable emotional climate, and eases the transition from one activity to another. You can combine multiple components into one activity. Your child may be missing morning circle time at school. Your family can re-create your child's "Crew time" by focusing on one or more of these four components:
A brain break is a movement activity that gets the blood flowing to your brain. Simply standing up delivers 15% more oxygen to the brain. A home learning routine needs a three-minute brain break every 15-20 minutes in order to help maintain focus.
When you get frustrated over academic content or your child's behavior, another strategy that can help is pivoting. When we pivot, we consciously shift from what we don't want, to what we DO WANT. We can pivot internally for ourselves from "I'm going to lose my mind!" to "I'm going to step away and take three deep breaths," and from "This second step is impossible," to "I'm going to get more information so this makes sense."
We can verbally pivot with children from, "Stop interrupting me," to "Be quiet while I finish explaining," from, "Stop hiding under the table," to "Come sit in your seat," and from, "Stop SCREAMING!" to "Please take a deep breath and use a quiet inside voice like mine."
With pivoting, the goal is to seek out and focus on a positive action. If we can pivot our minds away from what's going wrong long enough to verbalize what we would like to see, we brighten our outlook, provide usable information and increase the likelihood of compliance.
HIT THE PAUSE BUTTON: The brain functions optimally when it feels both safe and connected to others. Children aren't apt to feel either for a few weeks. Make safety and connection your top priority right now. You can add new and more complex academics as your routines become more normalized.
Children are under stress right now (just like us), so don't hesitate to hit the pause button at any point if things aren't going "as planned." When stressed, the brain shifts to the lower reactionary centers and can't access higher order thinking skills like problem-solving and learning. If your children are throwing fits, pulling out their hair and regressing due to stress, their brains aren't able to absorb information. Pull back and focus on the basics: Safety(reassurance) and Connection.
If children are acting squirrely during a lesson (fidgety, falling out of their chairs, staring into space, etc.), try an extended brain break to get their minds back in the game. If ramping up your brain breaks has little success, pause the lesson for at least 20 minutes of free play that includes physical movement (ideally outdoors). Remember that power struggles only push the brain further away from an optimal learning state.
Create a supportive routine with diverse activities, with time to connect meaningfully with one another and plenty of brain breaks. Pivot and Pause when needed. And REMEMBER that all of us, including you, are DOING THE BEST WE CAN amidst challenging circumstances. ( See hilarious video of family trying to create a routine). If the focus on academics is creating more pain than gain, step back and focus exclusively on maintaining your relationship with your child. After all, that's what they will remember from this whole Stay-at-Home experience.
No comments:
Post a Comment