A Powerful Start to a New Year of School

     I’m generally not a morning person, so it is easy for me to relate to the bleary-eyed kids who stumble into class late or disoriented on a regular basis.  I can also deeply empathize with the parents whose early morning hours are spent corralling a disorganized son or arguing with a defiant daughter, so they can catch the bus on time.  Sound familiar?  If so, Colorado author Liz Emmett-Mattox, of ALL GOOD MORNINGS, helps parents rethink their morning routine to transform the AM scene into one that provides a calm send off and a powerful start to each school day. 

     For many parents, the weekday morning routine at home is their craziest hour of the day.  As we roll into the new school year, the transition can be even harder to maneuver.   To lessen the stress, ALL GOOD MORNINGS author Emmett-Mattox has a few helpful suggestions so that families can recognize and meet the emotional needs of each family member in the morning and get the needed tasks accomplished. 

     #1)  Above all, says Emmett-Mattox, make a solid good CONNECTION with your child first thing every morning.  This is the single most important thing you can do.  From a neurological perspective, you are tuning into the needs of your child’s limbic system.  It may be tempting to leave any “special time” as a reward or something “extra” when all the important stuff is done.  But waking them up to a back rub or snuggle, a reassuring smile or word, a silly song… sets the stage for whatever difficulties will occur in the next hour.  Starting the day with a good, loving connection can make a big difference in easing whatever anxieties your child may have going into the day.  When children feel loved, heard, and seen first thing in the morning, it can go a long way toward eliminating the meltdowns over what to wear or not having their favorite flavor of juice, which can be signs that something is feeling hard in their world.

    #2)   Create a DAILY SCHEDULE that works for your family.  Post this schedule for everyone to see.  Use verbs which tell kids what they should be doing at each step.  Create accompanying visuals for younger kids and visual learners.  Having a visual reminder of what is supposed to happen and when (or at least in what order) helps everyone sail through the morning’s activities by eliminating decision overload.  For example, the schedule that worked best for our family looked something like this:

     6:30 Wake up and snuggle.  Preview the day together.           

     6:45 Get dressed                                                                                          

     7:00 Eat breakfast

     7:15 Brush teeth

     7:20 Pack backpack                                                                               

     7:30 Catch bus or drive to school

   #3)  Put a WHITEBOARD near the door.  List the days of the week down the side along with some pictorial reminders of what your child needs for school and any after-school activities each day.  At the bottom, place pictures reminding your child of things she or he needs to take to school every day (lunchbox, backpack, snack, homework folder, hat, and so on).   This helps your child learn to develop planning and organizational skills.  

   #4  Create a LAUNCHPAD where all the essentials are kept for your child – backpacks, shoes, coats, soccer equipment, dance outfit.  Having to complete a scavenger hunt first thing in the morning increases the anxiety for the day. 

   #5  Use an ANALOG CLOCK instead of a digital one to support children and visual thinkers.  To the ears, seven-fifteen and seven-fifty sound a whole lot alike.  On a digital clock, there is only one-digit difference between these two times.  With an analog clock, you really get the visual picture that these are very different things.  The analog clock is going to be a much better indicator of how far away your departure time is.  This helps children understand that deadline. 

     Having a morning schedule that works is one of the best things you can do to send your kids to school feeling calm, confident, and competent.  Every morning, parents endure the constant feeling of being torn between wanting to meet the needs of their kids and trying to meet the demands of the external world.  Making a schedule that works is really about finding a way to meet adult needs, our kid’s needs, and the needs of the school community all at the same time.